WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
