i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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