fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
