My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Randomize
