Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I think pants incapable of making pants work
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
