Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
