i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Congratulations! We have a period
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