He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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