I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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