Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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