Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
