so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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