So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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