adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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