great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
