U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
