I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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