3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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