so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
