it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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