I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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