No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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