so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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