didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She even gives head with a lisp.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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