Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
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