if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
