Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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