is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
