mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
More tranny stories later!
I want to walk on stilts...naked
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
