I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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