god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
