She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
