Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
