shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
