Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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