I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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