We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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