she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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