I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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