you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
