It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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