Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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