Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Randomize
