I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
