Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
