I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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