I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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