It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
