you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
