he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
